Las Animas - Bent County Library District

Wisecracking pen-for-hire Jaine Austen is back, and she's about to discover that working on the set of a Hollywood sitcom is no laughing matter.

"Jaine Austen's amused take on life, love, sex and LA will delight readers." —Carolyn Hart
A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s.
But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her...

Jaine Austen enters the world of fashion when her neighbor Lance decides to give her a make-over. Visiting his favorite high end fashion boutique, Jaine doesn't find any clothes, but does land a potential client for her writing business. Coming in early to pitch ideas one morning, Jaine finds the body of Frenchie with one of the woman's own stiletto heels stuck in her neck. To know Frenchie was to loath her, so the list of suspects in long. The police...

Jaine makes the mistake of accepting a new friend's invitation to join her weekly margarita and bitch session group, the PMS Club. At the second meeting Jaine attends, one of the members dies, and since guacamole isn't supposed to contain peanuts, and they all know about Marybeth's allergies, it's murder. Marybeth was, it turns out, having an affair with the husband of the hostess, Rochelle, so there's an obvious suspect. But everyone's under suspicion,...

Hired by her high school nemesis, Patti, to rewrite the ending of "Romeo and Juliet" for her wedding, Jaine Austen gets more than she had bargained for when Patti falls to her death from the balcony just before her big scene.

Freelance writer Jaine gets a gig conducting a writing course on a seven-day cruise from L.A. to Mexico. The trouble begins when Jaine realizes her sneaky cat, Prozac, has stowed away in her luggage. Jaine bargains with Samoa, her eccentric steward, to keep Prozac's presence a secret by promising to read and edit Do Not Distub (sic), his 900-page thriller about a swashbuckling steward. Levine's lively wit keeps the familiar Love Boatésque shenanigans...

Jaine Austen is looking forward to an indulgent spa getaway until she learns it is more about deprivation than relaxation. Between miniscule meals and a deadly brush with fame, surviving this vacation will be no piece of cake. When Jaine's friend Lance surprises her with a trip to The Haven, an uber-luxe health spa on the California coast, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But upon...

When Jaine lands a job writing Web copy and brochures for matchmaker Joy Amoroso, shes excited for a chance to help the lovelorn just in time for Valentine's Day--until she realizes what Dates of Joy is really all about. Joy is a ruthless taskmaster who screams at her employees for the smallest infractions, pads her Web site with pictures of professional models posing as clients, and offers up convincing-but-empty promises of love in exchange for...

When she is hired to write lyrics for a contestant in the talent competition for the Miss Teen Queen America pageant, freelance writer Jaine Austen is plunged into a glittering nightmare of vicious stage moms, exacting judges and trash-talking teens after a catfight turns deadly.

Jaine's life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come - a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. As if fending off golf ball-sized bugs on a sweltering island wasn't tough enough, Jaine must test her patience against an irritable production crew and fierce contestants who will do anything to get their...